It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
