no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
