i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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