i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
