I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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