areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
