I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i would punch a child for taco bell
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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