Small penises have feelings too.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
