Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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