There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
