So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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