im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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