She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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