i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
