9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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