Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How does one acquire holy water?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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