discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
