What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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