some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm experimenting with sincerity
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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