Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
