Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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