i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
