Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
