Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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