My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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