Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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