in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
