Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This girl is more easily done than said...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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