I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
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Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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