im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
