sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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