I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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