Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
