Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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