But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
