i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I currently don't understand fingers.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
