Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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