if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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