dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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