I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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