Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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  (503): He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat (1-503): Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby. http://tfl.nu/xtdn
  Replies (68) Good night (3956) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess

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  (651): Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess http://tfl.nu/7tw6
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (2097) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5572) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

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  (270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt
  Replies (19) Good night (3824) Bad night (1091) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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  (301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr
  Replies (5) Good night (3872) Bad night (752)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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  (479): By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo. http://tfl.nu/nmdz
  Replies (9) Good night (2109) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  ahaha ok

  (708): View more from Illinois

  let's call it "werewolfing"

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  (708): he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that. (1-708): ahaha ok (708): let's call it "werewolfing" http://tfl.nu/709l
  Replies (6) Good night (2648) Bad night (696)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

  (-1816): View more from

  Probably is probably an understatement.

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  (816): It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister. (-1816): Probably is probably an understatement. http://tfl.nu/hxbu
  Replies (9) Good night (2333) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".

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  (857): You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar". http://tfl.nu/eikz
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.

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  (740): Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/z77p
  Replies (2) Good night (1280) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks

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  (612): Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks http://tfl.nu/dno6
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.

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  (520): i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/utjt
  Replies (8) Good night (1224) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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  (563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9
  Replies (7) Good night (408) Bad night (1531) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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  (864): Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you. http://tfl.nu/kfw2
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (248) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.

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  (585): Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings. http://tfl.nu/zv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (132) Order T-Shirt

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