I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My balls are so social today.
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In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.