my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm passing your future prison.
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my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.