I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.