the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?