He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
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Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.