sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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You. Win. At. Life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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