This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize