Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
