It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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