I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
