The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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