Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
