You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
