Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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