There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
