Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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