Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
