well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
