U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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