haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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