Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
its liver damage thursday
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