carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
