Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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