So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
