I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
