thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize