They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize