So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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